Posted by Jed Lewison on Sat May 24, 2008 at 7:28 PM Pacific

It's the bottom of the 9th and the home team is leading 9-7

The 1995 Seattle Mariners slogan was "Refuse to Lose," but when
game 5 of the 1995 ALDS went into extra innings, the game was tied.

Barack Obama has just retired Hillary Clinton in the top half of the ninth inning of the seventh game of the American League Championship Series.

He's the home team, and he's leading 9-7, so he's already won, not just the game, but also the series.

But Clinton is insisting on taking the field to play out the final meaningless frame. It's never been done before in the history of baseball, but Obama, being a gentleman, is obliging.

Strangely, the umpires don't do anything to stop the game from continuing, even though it's completely under their control.

After Clinton finishes her warm up pitches, Obama steps up the plate. Clinton delivers three fastballs, each right over the heart of the plate, but Obama doesn't lift the bat off his shoulder. He strikes out in three pitches (West Virginia), clearly mailing it in in the hopes of avoiding injury.

Clinton, not recognizing the reason for Obama's nonchalant attitude, taunts him mercilessly. "You can't hit my kind of pitches!" she she screams.

Instead of trading insults with Clinton, Obama smiles. He congratulates her on striking him out and steps back into the batter's box for the next at-bat, eager to get things over with.

Unfortunately, Clinton can't get the ball over the plate this time. She walks him on four straight pitches. (Oregon.) Clinton, expecting a razzing from Obama, adopts a defensive posture. But all Obama does is mention that he's scored more runs in the game.

Clinton, failing to understand the significance of Obama's statement, is reassured, and to Obama's relief, throws three straight strikes to record another out. (Kentucky.)

Invigorated, Clinton taunts him again. "You can't handle my heater! You never will be able to do it!" She points a finger up at the sky in a victory salute.

Obama takes a deep breath and adjusts his batting glove, ignoring Clinton's display. It will be over soon. He's got the World Series to worry about.

But the fans are growing restless, and when the game announcers comment on just what a strange sight they are witnessing, Clinton's bench coach steps out of the dugout and starts screaming at Obama for being arrogant, kicking up dust everywhere.

Initially puzzled by the bench coach's tantrum, Obama starts to become concerned when he realizes that the umpires have left the field without telling them to stop playing. He knows that until they say the game is over, it isn't officially over.

Then he starts hearing Clinton carry on to a group of her fans about how her batting practice home runs should count in her score. And then she makes a curious argument that her warmup pitches should be counted as strikes, even though Obama wasn't even standing at the plate. She says Obama wouldn't be leading if they were counted as strikes.

Obama is puzzled about why Clinton is making this strange argument to her fans instead of to the umpires, but decides to let it slide when the bench coach finally and mercifully returns to the dugout.

Obama steps back in the box, and Clinton toes the rubber. Apparently, the short break has had an impact on her control. The first three pitches are wild, to the right. She tries to move back to the inside part of the plate, but goes too far left, and zonks Obama right on the thigh.

He winces in pain, but quickly recovers. Clinton tells Obama that if the pitch hurt him, she is certainly sorry that he feels that way, and warns him against criticizing her for having bad control.

Obama waves the incident off, telling her he understands her situation. Only one more out to go, he thinks to himself. If she can just get the ball over the plate, the game will be over.

If the umpires return, that is.

Clinton's first pitch on his next at-bat is wild again, hitting the dirt six feet in front of Obama.

He takes another look around, hoping to see umpires coming back on the field.

Nothing. He sees nothing.

That's when a frightening thought suddenly occurs to him: what if Clinton gets the next out, but the umpires aren't there to say the game is over? After all, the game should have been over when Clinton failed to score the tying run in the top of the ninth, but but when he decided to oblige her by playing out the bottom of the ninth, the umpires didn't protest.

And now, if the umpires don't get back soon, Obama realizes that for the first time in the history of baseball they could enter the tenth inning without a tie ballgame.

He steps back away from the plate and rolls his head around to stretch his neck, pushing the thought from his mind. He reminds himself that the umpires couldn't be so stupid that they'd send the game into the tenth inning with one team in the lead.

Or could they be?