Politician spins out of control in freak flip flop accident

PHOENIX, AZ -- U.S. Senator John McCain (whom we honor and respect for his decades of service to this country, blah blah blah) today spun completely out of control while chasing the runaway polling numbers of his political opponent, Barack Obama, who all rational people intend to make the next president of the United States of America.

Senator McCain's tragic accident was the result of several flip-flops in rapid succession:

1. Yesterday he violated his pledge to run a respectful campagin with scurrilous attack on Senator Obama.
2. Today, McCain refused to rule out raising taxes on Social Security, a sharp reversal from his previous positoin
3. Today, honoring the memory of the fallen conservative hero Jesse Helms, he reversed positions on affirmative action.
4. Today, he also re-flip-flopped on gay adoption, seeming to retake his previous anti-gay position.

Ironically, the only thing giving McCain's sad and listless campaign any momentum is his flip-flop on off-shore oil drilling, after which the oil industry dumped more than one million dollars into his campaign over the course of about ten days.

For further developments in the Senator's flip-flopping behavior, please see the Official John McCain Flip-Flop List, which as of today's news is now 70 flips and flops long.